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hey this is Leo for actualised org and in this video I'm gonna tell you how to exploit others to grow yourself alright let's talk about exploiting other people to grow your self now what do I mean by this it sounds a little bit nefarious on the surface let me tell you this is actually one of the single most powerful personal development techniques that I've ever found and if you apply this in your life you are gonna skyrocket with your understanding of yourself and your personal self control and self mastery so what do I mean by exploiting other people well what you're gonna find as you're going through life and especially as you're interacting with people and you're in relationships both intimate relationships but also relationships at work relationships with your family relationships with your friends or any other human beings what you're going to find is invariably you're gonna have conflict right you and them there you're gonna clash you and someone else is gonna clash and they're gonna start doing things that you clearly perceive as being wrong as being unwise you might tell yourself well these principles of personal development that I'm trying to embody that I'm trying to kind of live in my life I know what the principles are I've studied the principles maybe you've studied them and you heard them for me here at actualised org or maybe from some other book from Tony Robbins from a seminar you went to you know you just know you know what's right you know what should be doing you know what people should be doing you know what you should be doing and sometimes you go a long life and you you meet people that are totally breaking these principles they're behaving in horrible ways they're angry they're anxious they're unconscious they're acting like a victim they're blaming you for their own victimhood and you know all these kinds of nasty situations that create these dysfunctional relationships and as you get wiser and wiser and wiser what's gonna start to happen is that you're gonna see you start to see that people are behaving and the reason that people are behaving in bad ways and the reason that people are suffering in their lives and that they're blaming you a lot of times for that suffering is because they're breaking the core fundamental principles of success and Happiness right they don't understand their own psychology and so you're going to start to see this and as you become wiser and smarter and as you roll yourself in develop yourself you're gonna become stronger you're going to develop that sense of self mastery and so as a student of self mastery you're gonna you're going to become more and more proficient and you're gonna see people acting in all sorts of neurotic and crazy ways you're gonna see people get angry you're gonna see people yelling you're gonna see people having panic attacks and being upset and acting like a victim and doing petty spiteful things to each other maybe fighting with each other cursing at each other doing all sorts of these nasty things and because you've worked on yourself and you know the principles you're gonna be like oh I see what's going on there and what's going to be very tempting is you're gonna start to feel kind of bad for those people and you're gonna wonder like why why don't they know better why aren't they doing better why aren't they following these principles that I'm following maybe I can show them how to follow these principles and maybe they can like apply them in their lives and what's gonna tend to happen is that you might even go out there and you might try to show one of these principles or show someone close to you how they're behaving in a way that's basically sabotaging their own life and you're gonna like you're gonna go you're gonna try to show them and what's gonna happen is that they're gonna reject you and if they're gonna get angry at you for showing them their own faults and I'm gonna blame you and what's gonna happen is that if you've never encountered this before you're gonna you can actually you can get triggered by this it's gonna trigger you emotionally and you're going to start to notice that people are behaving in all sorts of like nasty and bad ways and you're gonna start to suddenly judge them and you're gonna say to yourself well they should be doing better here they should be doing better than there and you're gonna get into this mode where you're gonna think that you're better than other people because you are in a sense you're developing more psychological awareness you're developing more consciousness and as you become more aware you start to notice how other people are asleep you start to see that everybody is sleepwalking through life all your friends your family maybe your spouse your girlfriend or your boyfriend they're totally sleepwalking through life and and you're gonna be like wow that's a that that's incredible and you're gonna start to feel like you're above them well this is this is the next this is the next phase of your development is to now instead of judging these people this is how you exploit them this is where the exploitation comes in you exploit these people here's what I mean by that it's not as evil as it sounds on the surface the way that you exploit someone is you see them doing something that's nasty or distasteful something that is wrong according to the principles that you know are right and instead now of judging them what you do is you turn it back on yourself and you say oh this person he's getting angry how am i doing the same thing right now in my life oh that person she's a victim wait a minute how am i a victim in my life oh that person that person is a neurotic pessimist wait a minute how am i a neurotic pessimist oh that person that person right there she is totally unconscious totally sleepwalking through life has no clue even where she's up wait a minute where do I behave unconsciously still where am i behaving in a way where I'm up and I don't even know that I am this is how you exploit people to further yourself this is so valuable what you do here you basically Akito the problem the problem is that you've got all these people that are unconscious and doing all sorts of stupid and now if you think you're better than them there go around and go to point fingers you're gonna judge them and you're gonna act superior to them and in fact it's going to disturb you because you're like gonna be saying to yourself and to them you're going to be pointing out their flaws and you're gonna be saying well look you're unconscious clearly you need to wake up to that force you're going to say look you've got an anger management problem you need to start to manage your anger better here are some techniques and you're gonna have to you're going to have this tendency to go around and like try to to instruct people from your from your wise position but actually when you do this you're gonna start to notice that there's going to be a little bit of a dissonance between you and the wise you the wise you is going to start to see that something is wrong with the way that you're approaching all these people and what that is is that you are not registering within yourself those same flaws the fact is that no matter how developed you are no matter how how far along you are along this path of personal development they're still always going to be ways subtle ways sometimes very glaringly obvious ways where you are behaving in just the same exact ways that all those other people are behaving you're behaving unconsciously you're sleepwalking through life you're getting angry you're getting negative pessimistic you're out of control you can't control your own thoughts you're not following through on the good habits you need be following through on you're breaking the good principles that you know you should be following right you're doing this every single day I guarantee it it's just that you have this tendency of ignoring your own faults and being very hyper aware of the fault of the people and so once you reach that point first of all congratulate yourself you've gotten very far because at least now you're conscious enough to see how insane the rest of the world is you're conscious enough to see just how unconscious everybody else is and that's already putting you in a class all by all by itself that's very good except now we need to take you to the next level to get to the next level you're not gonna get there by going around and criticizing and judging other people and finding fault with them the next level for you is to start to use everybody that's doing all sorts of neurotic stuff is to first of all come to accept that that is the world that we live in so be at peace with it don't be all anxious about don't get an erotical that's the first thing but the second thing is then to say okay I can actually use all these I can Aikido all these situations towards my benefit and it hurts nobody right you're using these people as reminders of what you should not be doing and in fact when you start to do this you get very thankful you get very thankful because what you start to see is you start to see all these people that are doing all this stupid stuff in their lives you start to see them as just oh this is just a reminder this is a reminder that I need to stay on track when you see someone self-destructing and get really angry in traffic that's a nice reminder for the fact that you know what it's really important for me to keep doing my meditation every morning because that meditation I'm doing is keeping me from being that person and I don't want to be that person that person is ugly I want to be the calm self that I am right now in order to stay that way well this person just reminded me that I should take my meditation very seriously perfect reminder then maybe you go to the office and at the office you see someone criticizing a proposal maybe there's a new project that's being planned somebody's criticizing the proposal nay saying it being very negative and cynical okay now you notice that person and you look at him and you say yes I don't like his cynicism but more importantly how does that now affect me how does how does that reflect back at me how do I use that person to be a mirror for my own behavior and my own flaws and when you reflect that back on yourself you go okay wait a minute where am I being cynical like that oh so I'm not cynical here at work maybe I got the work situation figured out maybe this proposal I'm not cynical about that but if I think about it really hard I'm cynical in my relationship with my parents and then you you take it to that level and you say okay so I'm cynical there I'm negative there why don't I try to like work on that so basically what you're doing is you're using people as mirrors to yourself now the reason that this takes you to a whole nother level is because this takes incredible self-discipline to do this because it's it's actually very difficult to do this our mind doesn't want to focus on our own flaws it wants to focus on the flaws other people it wants to judge it wants to to blame our circumstance but when you are really truly self developed and you go to a you know a whole new level what what you start to do is you start to be okay with the neuroticism of everybody out there and you just start to use it as as like lessons for yourself you start to derive wisdom from it literally you're taking negatives and you're turning them into positives into a very very powerful way of developing yourself and that you know if you're a student of personal development then you've probably realized already that it's important to get reminders right it's not enough for me to tell you some principle or some some lesson and then you go off and you just go and run your life according to that principle that listen no it doesn't work that way what you got to do is you have to constantly reimburse yourself in two principles you got to reimburse yourself in that in the core truths that you know are right and you do it again and again and again and again and again and you just kind of train your brain and no matter how good you get it's always nice to get another reminder another lesson it's kind of like if you were a golfer I mean you wouldn't just go and golf really hard for a couple of years and learn to golf really well and then never golf again in your life and just kind of let rest on your laurels right if you did that then you would not be a great golfer you might be good for a couple of years but then you would get rusty and so this is the same thing with your spiritual and personal development is that you have to keep practicing it and reminding yourself because otherwise even though you might be doing good right now you know if you fall off track you fall off the habits that you've been cultivating then you're gonna become rusty so you can't rest on your laurels right now if you're positive right now if you're feeling very strong and you're not acting like a victim in your life right now if you can control your anger right now if you're not neurotic well that's really good but you're not gonna stay that way if you don't keep reminding yourself if you don't keep following through on the good habits that you've developed the best way to do that is to see in others reminders use other people as reminders for the way that you should be living your life also it'll help you cultivate some gratitude right when I see people now behaving and really stupid unwise unconscious ways you know I tried to remind myself like wow that's that's awesome because because like I mean I would like them to be better I would like them to to awake from their unconsciousness but to me it's like wow that could have been me like all the hard work that I'm putting into my life like that's so that I don't become like that person and to me that just like fuels me that gives me fuel for the journey because sometimes you feel like you're doing personal development but then you just get so a climatic to the results you're getting that you don't really know what you're working towards anymore well when you see someone losing their temper or you see someone destroying their life with with drugs or addictions or alcohol or anything like that or you see someone being neurotic or you know you see someone being so critical of themselves and other people that they basically can't progress in life then you can tell yourself wow you know all this work that I've put into myself has been so worth it because I would give anything not to be like that person and in fact I can find some current flaws in me that that person is now highlighting and I can introspect and say okay how am I still doing that how am I still doing that in very subtle ways maybe I ironed out the worst of it but I'm still doing it in subtle ways let me eye on out a little bit more alright this is Leo I'm signing off this is how to exploit people to your maximum personal development right use negative people to fuel you to become a better person it doesn't hurt them and it massively improves you so go ahead and do that try that out start to practice it right now maybe pick one or two people in your life that you can use as as negative examples of how not to live your life it can be a really powerful force or I go ahead and post me your comments down below please like this please share it click the like button right now if you like this so it can spread around and then of course come check out actualizado work sign up to my newsletter there because what I'm doing is I'm releasing new videos new articles other goodies every single week for free to keep you on track with your personal development advanced ideas techniques strategies reminders right that's one of the big things that I'm trying to do with with my website and my channel nationalised other work is to get you a constant stream of reminders for the fact that you need to be growing and how to be growing so that you're immersed in this you're like a hobbyist and the most effective way to do that is for you to sign up so that you're getting constant weekly reminders of staying on track because one video is not going to get you to the level that you want to be at if you really want to self-actualize and get everything that you can out of life squeeze every last drop of life out of life to do that you need to really work on yourself and mastering your own psychology and i'm bringing you the best of the best every single week so sign up you